It's My Birthday by Lawrence Chard
Lawrence Home Page

My Birthday
9th June
Well it was my birthday when I added this page. Being somewhat excited at the prospects of a brand new Mercedes S320TD, I woke up quite early, and rather than lie there or wake Jane up for the sleeping treatment, I thought I would jot down a few thoughts before they escaped.

Birthday Wish List
Have you noticed how many people ask you what you would like for your birthday? Well, its no use telling them most of the time, because unless your list includes socks, it's not likely to happen. Here is my shortlist...

  • Mercedes S600
    OK, I know I mentioned an S320 TD above, but I thought I was being realistic at the time, a 600 would be much more desirable, and probably even better that the 6.9 I used to drive.
  • A selection of Belgian chocolates would also be good, but preferably freshly picked direct form Belgium. Forget Thornton's, they're OK if there is nothing else available. Some Anton Berg fruits in alcohol would be a very acceptable substitute, and I will collect my own Belgian choc's next time I go.
  • All Over Massage
    This would also be very acceptable, preferably by a female masseuse.
  • Brown Socks
    If socks are supposed to match shoes, how come I can never find any decent brown socks in my sock drawer?
    (Sock drawer nearly ended up misppelt as cock drawer, a potential intriguing Freudian slip).
  • Underpants It would be nice to have some with my name woven into the label instead of Calvin Klein or Marks and Spencer.
    Actually that's a great marketing idea, high quality men's underwear personalised with their name woven into the label or waistband. Now if I could register the concept and license it out, I could make more than enough for the S500.
  • Jeremy Clarkson's Job The guy gets paid for it, It would be happy to do it for much less.
Missed It?
If you missed my birthday, and wanted to send me a present, I would be quite happy to accept it on any day of the year, I am not too proud.
I hope there will be many more.